I knew it was coming. This year it took about a month before the shiny, happy feeling of school started to lose its glimmer. This week the homework whine is back in all its fury. The homework whine knows no age barriers. In fact the length and annoying factor of the whine only increase with age:
1st Grader: No, I am not doing that homework. Who thinks homework is important anyway?
Hardworking Mother: I know your teacher thinks your homework is important. I think your homework is important and your dad thinks your homework is important. You should think so too.
1st Grader: Whatever, I’m still not doing it.
5th Grader: Ooohhhhh this is soooooo boooorrrrriiinnnggggg.
Everpatient Mother: School is boring? Really? I would be happy to schedule a meeting to talk with your teachers about making it more interesting.
5th Grader: No!!! Then the kids will think I’m a total freak. I just think this homework is boring.
Everpatient Mother: It’s okay if you don’t like every subject but you still have to concentrate and try your best.
5th Grader: But Moooooommmm (that’s a two syllable word btw) I HATE homework!
7th Grader: Moooooooommmmm (that’s a three syllable word now)
Calm & Collected Mother: Yes, K?
7th Grader: Moooooooommmmm whyyyyyy? Whhhhyyy do we have to learn about stupid rocks? Who cares about stupid rocks?? This homework is so stupid!!
Calm & Collected Mother: The homework isn’t stupid and it is important to learn things about the world you live in.
7th Grader: Mooooooommmmmmm it is NOT important to learn about ROCKS. UGHARGHUGH
Calm & Collected Mother: Well obviously your teacher thinks so and this is her area of expertise.
7th Grader: Seriously?!?! She probably just wants to torture us. There is NO good reason to learn about ROCKS.
Calm & Collected Mother then texted a friend who is a 7th grade science teacher. He had all sorts of good reasons to learn about rocks ranging from ‘we live on a rock’ to ‘diamonds are rocks’ to ‘the state department of education thinks it’s important, therefore it is important.’ None of those reasons stopped the whine. However, they made the arguing far more entertaining.
If you enter my house any time between 4:30 and 7:30 you are likely to hear at least one child in mid whine. Sometimes the whines include strange body wiggles and flops. Sometimes the whines are so extreme the children appear to lose all bodily control and end up on the floor. Apparently homework turns my children into toddlers again.
And they wonder why I want a drink every. single. night.