I am going to be feeling the brunt of this one for a while.
Against my better judgment I let the 12yo borrow my ipod for a bus trip to a cross country meet. She’s generally a very responsible young adult however when it comes to people’s things she has a definite lack of respect. She doesn’t return things promptly. She doesn’t treat other people’s things with care. She seems to have a complete lack of understanding when it comes to how much money things cost.
I let her borrow the ipod anyway. And she lost it.
She avoided the subject for six whole days. I asked for it nearly every day because I wanted it for a run or something. Every day she managed to dodge getting it for me. Then finally she could wait no longer and she had to come clean. The interesting thing about this is that not once did she say she was sorry. She did not spend all week looking for it – she just kept avoiding the whole topic hoping it would go away. And even afterwards when I was very clearly upset about her lack of respect or consideration with an expensive item – she showed no remorse.
I gave myself a couple days to think about it and let her know that we would be having a conversation to determine how to handle it. We had that conversation last night. I told her she has until Friday to find my ipod. If she can’t find it – and I sincerely hope she can – then she owes me the money to replace it.
And then all hell broke loose.
I am “taking all her money.” She can’t believe she is being “asked to buy my mother a new ipod when my mother is the one with the job.” When she was done telling me how completely unfair I am she stopped talking to me entirely, stopped making eye contact and purposely avoided being in the same room with me.
As much as she doesn’t believe me, I would far prefer she found my ipod and didn’t have to give up her money. But I think there is an important lesson to be learned here. When you borrow something you should treat it with care and if something happens to it while it is in your possession, then you need to replace it.
It’s getting ugly around here. Mark this up as one of my least favorite parts of parenting.