Internet friends, I am tired. I have been pushing myself from before dawn to long after dusk for days with no break. I have been pushing so hard to get so many things done that when I finally stumble into bed I can’t always get my mind to slow down enough to sleep. Last night I stopped working shortly after 10pm (the earliest I’ve ended my work day all week). And yet at 11pm I was still awake. It almost made me cry.
But I won’t turn this post into a complaint or a litany of all the balls I have in the air. Instead, I’m telling you this to set the stage. I tell my children all the time, there are many things in life you cannot control but you can always control the way you handle them.
So I cannot control the hectic schedule of my life right now. I can however, control my outlook. And with that in mind, I bring you some tired (so, so tired) moments of grace.
- A super strong, super fast (for me) run. It’s nice to surprise yourself.
- When my 7yo told me last weekend that he didn’t come into bed for our normal Saturday morning snuggles because I look so tired and he didn’t want to wake me up.
- My husband bringing me lunch on Valentine’s Day because he knew I was stuck on a conference call (it lasted 4.5 hours by the way) and would have a hard time getting something to eat.
- My sparkling-like-new wedding ring. There was a crack in the setting of my ring so it had to be re-built and was off my hand for a week. The new setting and cleaned-up ring look like new again, it makes me smile and remember when I first started wearing it. (I resisted the urge to tell the jeweler that since he was taking it apart anyway, he should feel free to put a bigger diamond in there.)
- A run with a friend.
- A good morning hug.
- A peanut butter-filled chocolate heart.
I’m going to try and look for moments of grace right now instead of feeling frustrated that getting up at 5:30 isn’t early enough to get enough done before my day officially starts. Instead of feeling stress about the mountains of laundry and the unclean bathrooms. Instead of feeling work guilt that I’m not working most of Saturday or Sunday because I have plans with my children. Instead of being annoyed that I have to pack lunches.
It’s like every day is a marathon. I’m taking my deep breaths and bracing myself for the non-stop activity of the next 15 hours. Come to think of it, I’d be able to stop and rest sooner if it was a marathon.