I’ve been better

Lately at night when I go to bed and think through my day and look for blessings so I can give thanks, I realize that I haven’t been my best. I’ve been impatient. I’ve been tired exhausted. I haven’t made time for fun with my children, my spouse or my friends. I barely keep the house clean. I have been short tempered. I have been a lazy cook. I’m not reading as much. I’m not writing as much. I’m not exercising as much.

Instead of playing a game with my son, I bought him a new app on my ipad and told him he could sit next to me and play it while I work. Instead of reading a book my daughter asked me to read so we could talk about it later, I put it (and her) aside with a not now, maybe later… when we both know later isn’t happening. Instead of hanging up the artwork brought home so proudly, I left it sitting on a chair (now covered with random scarves & gloves).

There isn’t enough of me to go around right now. I could make excuses but I won’t. I hope I can find time soon to re-prioritize and give more focus to the things that deserve my focus. I’ve been better.


7 thoughts on “I’ve been better

  1. I spent the last six weeks reassuring myself that my kids were not going to grow up thinking, “When I was growing up, there were six weeks where my mom didn’t play with me very much and my house wasn’t clean.” You need to give yourself some grace. It’s a temporary situation which is bringing great professional and personal blessings – both to you and your whole family. Just remember – You can do anything for 3 more weeks. You’re one of the best moms I know. Don’t let a temporary situation cloud your memory!

  2. I so relate to this post. Take heart that when you get that time, that chance to take a breath, you’ll appreciate it because of this time of busy exhaustion that leaves so little of you for yourself and your family. Just like my apple tree doesn’t give me yummy fruit year round, we can’t be at our best all the time.

  3. oh, I think we have all been there. don’t be too hard on yourself. You can and you will do better. But, remember, there is always only so much that you can do. Giving yourself permission to not do it all, is ok sometimes too.

  4. Some days, we’re off our game. Some days, it’s easy to use the TV or iPad as a tool, just so we can get things done or enjoy a few moments of peace and quiet. It’s okay. Those moments that we use to fold the laundry or just sit and be lead into future moments where we can engage and interact.

  5. Oh I could have written this post. I’m functioning on bare minimum lately. Not sure if it is the winter blah’s or what but I feel spread so thin and that I’m not doing that great of a job at anything. HOpe you feel better about life soon.

  6. All I can say is that they grow up much to quickly, I know it’s stressful but remember to try to balance things, then you won’t be as exhausted. Easier said then done I know. Remember this is not forever just something that needs to be done now. Once in awhile take a quick break for all of you.

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