I went out for a run yesterday. It was not the smartest run I’ve ever picked to do – the bank sign said 96 degrees, humidity was probably 90%. But there were reasons for the run and we were taking it slow. I couldn’t help but have flashbacks to a year ago. When we were running down the street, begging for a breeze, I remembered my marathon. When I was feeling the heat surround me and making me feel like I couldn’t breathe, I remembered my marathon. When I was squirting water on my head in an attempt to cool down, I remembered my marathon.
It’s happened before, these flashbacks. Sometimes there is just something in the air that makes that day rise up in my senses. Yesterday in particular I was proud to say that it didn’t bother me. The weather was miserable but I didn’t feel too badly. Not that I wanted to run more miles mind you, but I didn’t feel nearly as physically bad as I did on marathon day. So there’s that.
Later last night as I tossed and turned (I had a lousy night of sleep, lousy), I found my mind wandering through my day and then to the run and then to the marathon. Sunburst race weekend is just two weeks away. Last year at this time I was tossing and turning with a million doubts running through my brain. I was obsessed with the training and remember very little else about last spring. This year, is a much different spring in many ways. This year is all about running strong. I have far more confidence in my running than I had last spring. And I’m beginning to recognize that this strength and confidence comes in part from surviving last spring and June 4, 2011.
I’ll be at the Sunburst starting line again this year, just like I have been each year since 2009. I’ve run every distance offered at this race except the half. This year I’m running the 5K with my 13yo daughter. This year when I cross the finish, I hope to put the bad parts of the marathon behind me.