They say that a good goal is a little scary. I don’t know who *they* are but they would apparently approve of my current goal because as I get closer and closer to this Olympic Triathlon, the scarier it seems. Oh sure the rational side of my brain knows that I have trained hard and that training works. The rational side of me knows that I can put each leg of this race together on one day and finish strong.
The other side of my brain is causing me nightmares. I dream that I get out of the swim and feel weak and have rubber legs. I dream that I can’t find my bike in the transition area. I dream that my bike falls apart as I’m racing and I have to sit on the side of the road trying to fix it while the clock ticks away. I dream that I fall while I’m running.
Instead of having a plan A if I feel great on race day and a plan B in case I need to shift my goals – I have found myself making a plan that lets me back off just to finish.
This is not confidence inspiring.
There’s just so much to think about in this race. And the training has been ruling my life for so many weeks now that even as I start to slow up on training it’s still all I can think about. This is the time when I start wondering why I put myself through this. If I were a pinterest person, this is when I’d put up all sorts of cheesy pictures with inspirational quotes.
Instead, I will go eat some peanut butter toast and tell the other side of my brain to leave me alone. And maybe I’ll dare to come up with that Plan A after all. (maybe)