now that’s a bad picture

I had to renew my driver’s license yesterday – and yes, I know… it expires on your birthday, not the month of your birthday and I’ve got the $5 fine to prove it. I’m not one to get too hung up on my driver’s license information or picture. But I do believe this license has one of my most unattractive pictures ever – and that’s including the goofy faces I might get caught in when I’ve had one too many drinks.

See, there are new guidelines for getting your license picture taken. Guidelines that have to do with computer face recognition and reducing identity theft. I took my stroll over to the blue curtain and the license branch employee pointed out the new guidelines on the wall. I skimmed them – something about keeping your hair out of your face, not wearing eyeglasses, not wearing hats… blah, blah, blah. And then smiled for my picture. That’s when she told me you’re not allowed to show teeth when you smile.

Picture #1 tossed out.

Tried again, attempting not to smirk or look like I’m there for a mug shot. She says it’s a great picture. But… the computer won’t accept it. Seems that I tilted my head slightly (probably attempting not to have a double chin).

Picture #2 tossed out.

By this time I’m getting a bit annoyed with the whole process. I decide it’s not worth getting angry over but really, the whole thing is becoming laughable. I attempt to look directly in the blue dot without tilting my head, even though the blue dot is below eye level. I clamp my lips shut and keep my eyes open.

Picture #3 accepted:

could my head look any bigger?

And that’s the picture I have to live with for the next six years. (I won’t renew my license until my oldest daughter gets her license – scary thought!) The awful smirk/frown/double chin/small mouth look – so attractive. And yes, I know that picture is blurry – I took 4 of them but apparently the license has some sort of coating that resists clear pictures. Probably part of that identity theft stuff again.