I need an otoscope

When you become a parent there are lots of books and classes you can take. You can learn how to change a diaper, how to feed your child, different ways to comfort the little one. As they grow older you can learn how to talk to your kids about drugs, peer pressure and sex. But you know what class they don’t offer? Medical Diagnosis 101.

I’m not one of those parents that rushes my kids to the doctor. Fever? Let’s watch it for a couple days before I worry. Vomiting? Keep a bucket nearby and unless the kid seems dehydrated we can handle it. Runny nose, cough? I’m not calling the doctor unless my child has had those symptoms for 10-14 days. But there are two symptoms that stump me: breathing problems and ear aches.

Without a stethoscope, and the training to understand what I’m hearing, I have little to no idea if a breathing issue is serious or not. After a few scares with my son I’ve learned a bit more but this is an issue where I tend to lean on calling the doctor. After all, breathing is a fairly important activity.

Ear aches are another issue altogether. No one is going to turn blue and require a middle of the night ER visit from an ear ache. But I had ear aches as a child and they suck. They hurt, it’s next to impossible to sleep and there’s really very little anyone can do to make them feel better. Some ear aches require antibiotics to make them go away. Others do not. I just wish someone would teach me how to use an otoscope, peer into my child’s ear and understand what I’m seeing. Then I’d know if it was worth trying to get through to my eternally-busy pediatrician’s office and paying a doctor’s office fee to find out.

My son was up a chunk of the night with an ear ache. Beside himself crying in pain. Once the motrin sunk in he did just fine. So here’s my dilemma: Did he have some minor issue that is going away by itself? There’s no fever but there has been a cold for about a week. Do I need to rack up a doctor bill – probably $100 for a 7 minute visit before insurance steps in – or do I just need to keep him quiet today? If I don’t go will I be in for another semi-sleepless night? Sigh… I need an otoscope.