A parent of older kids

I’ve really felt a shift in parenting in recent months. I’m no longer the parent of young kids. I don’t do crafts, plan elaborate activities for a rainy afternoon, or take my kids to see children’s plays. I don’t go on popsicle walks or puddle walks or to story time at the library. I don’t pick up legos and doll clothes at night. My kids don’t need to hold my hand and sometimes they even go on adventures without me.

I am the parent of older kids. We go to the library and each wander our own way until we come together to show each other our selections. We go out to eat more often. We go on dunes hikes and long bike rides. I stay up late at night waiting for everyone to get home.

It’s different. Not bad mind you, just different. Part of me misses all the little kid action but more of me is enjoying all the new adventures I can now do with my kids.

For Mother’s Day we went on a short trail walk and out to lunch in a nearby Lake Michigan beach town. At lunch there was a table next to us with a younger family – three little kids. It made me smile to watch them all clamor for mom’s attention – both because those days are golden and because they are so tiring. I smiled because I was sitting at my table with a beer and older kids who can cut their own food and don’t need to announce something to me every 30 seconds. It’s a good phase of parenting for sure. Still… I knew that mom was going to have kids crawl into her lap later that day and ask to read a book. And I miss that.

So after lunch when we walked down to the beach and this immediately happened…. well, it made my heart happy to see that my older kids are still kids at heart. (even if they don’t ask me to read aloud to them anymore)

Being thankful for: children

This week’s challenge (week #6) is to take time to be grateful for someone under the age of 18. I like that this challenge is helping me to reflect on things that I don’t always think about. Let’s be honest I think about people under the age of 18 all the time – constantly. People under the age of 18 dictate the schedule of my days. I worry about them. I pray for them. I nag them. I cook and clean and do laundry for them. I laugh with them. I hug them. I read to them. I tell them I love them. I don’t, however, take time very often to be grateful for them.

How am I grateful for children?

I am grateful for my oldest because she was the one who taught me that I could be patient. I am grateful for her sense of humor and for her ability to weed out the fluff and focus on the right things.

I am grateful for my second child because she was the one who taught me that it’s good to be sensitive to the world. I am grateful for her creativity and for her ability to see the world in a different light.

I am grateful for my youngest because he was the one who taught me to be flexible. I am grateful for his strong sense of responsibility and for his ability to notice things that others don’t.

Thank you to my very own children. Thank you for teaching my heart how to expand with love, for reminding me how fun it is to play and learn, for bringing your unique personalities and talents into my life.

15 weeks, 15 letters, 15 minutes. To kick off 2015. Read about the gratitude challenge here.

Checking things off our summer fun list

The past three days were the kinds of days that make me love summer. They remind me of years when the kids were younger and our schedules looser. They let me sneak my kids away from their normal distractions and just soak them in. They were wonderful.

We always make a list of fun activities to do in the summer and this weekend we managed to check off many things…

We picked blueberries…

The oldest and I along with her best friend from preschool (!) toured the beautiful campus of IU Bloomington…

We went on a dunes hike…

It was a busy weekend. And it was one of my most favorite weekends of summer 2014.

This is why I work for myself

I will admit it. I look forward to summer with a mixture of dread and excitement. Excitement because my kids will be home and our schedules are more relaxed and we can have some fun. Dread because it’s so much harder to get work done and my billings inevitably drop this time of year no matter how hard I work to keep things active. It’s just so hard to find blocks of uninterrupted time with three kids home.

This morning I had to turn down a project. Not a big project but it would involve me traveling away for a day during a very busy week for my kids. I was frustrated. I enjoy those days when I get to leave my home office behind, put on “real” clothes and challenge my brain a bit.

Then I remembered, THIS is why I work for myself. Because I would be frustrated and sad when that meeting day arrived and I had to leave my kids behind for the day. My days of having all three kids home are numbered and to give up a summer day with them isn’t worth any project. And yes, I know it’s JUST ONE DAY. But it’s summer… and it’s my kids.

And so instead of being frustrated, I made a spur of the moment decision. I turned off the computer and I piled the kids in the car and we spent the day together. A day away from home in one of our favorite places. A day where there were no other friends or obligations pulling us apart. A day where we laughed and remembered and learned new things together.

This is why I work for myself:

I want to be more like Betty Draper

My kids are all blowing off school lately.

– Have a teacher who lets you come in early, correct all your homework so you’re guaranteed an A+ and a perfect review packet for test studying? DON’T GO IN AND REVIEW YOUR ASSIGNMENTS.
– Don’t understand something when it’s read aloud at school? DON’T READ THE PAGES AGAIN AT HOME EVEN THOUGH YOU HAVE THE BOOK TO DO SO.
– Have a deadline on Thursday? LIE TO THE TEACHER ABOUT THE ASSIGNMENT ON FRIDAY… AND MONDAY… AND TUESDAY..

I’m a little on the livid side of things right now. Ready to lock them all in their rooms until they show some common sense and initiative.

Instead, I think I’ll use Betty Draper as my role model. Betty Draper who ships her kids off to boarding school when they annoy her. Betty Draper who has a nanny/maid/cook in the house so she has more time for important things like horseback riding and lunches with friends. Betty Draper who makes snide, sarcastic, scarring comments to her children all the time. Betty Draper who is never found without a cigarette – I’ll trade the smokes for a drink though.

I bet if I farmed out responsibility for my kids to someone else most of the time, I’d be a lot less frustrated and angry about their lousy school performance of late. Being drunk and not having any responsibilities sounds like a much less stressful way to live.

Excuse me, I need to put together an ad for a nanny/maid/cook.